I was in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage for several years. From the outside you wouldn't know. I was and am a feel happy, confident and strong woman. But, was I truly when it mattered? In the most intimate and vulnerable of spaces, I was unhappy, doubtful, apprehensive and indecisive. The divorce came to me as a shock (I don't even know why). I did not initiate it, though I wish I had shown the resolve and clarity. The knowledge of infidelity came as an even larger surprise. The subsequent lies and aggression through the divorce took quite a toll. In the midst of a rain of tears, I texted to a friend "my heart is breaking". He replied - "think about what is truly breaking". In that instance, as I tried to answer him, the clouds of emotion started clearing. I started seeing my life with as much clarity and objectivity as I usually can of others. I saw the blessing. I saw the hollowness of the relationship that I was clinging on to. The image of a life together that, in reality, was an image, a figment of my imagination, not the truth. In that moment, I saw the rainbow. There has been no turning back.