I am a dichotomy

I am more brave and yet more timid than I show myself to be. I am more afraid of being successful than I am of 'failing'. I love supporting people and this is my vocation; yet I also really embrace the times when I can be alone and go into retreat whenever I can. It is my selfishness that makes me more generous. I have always felt an outsider within my own family, yet so bound by their ideas of how to live life. I am a dichotomy.