I eat my feelings

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

When I have an emotional response I eat. I was morbidly obese. I would just eat my feelings. When young, we were not fed, so now I am an adult, I do not ever feel full. If I did eat I would eat until I was sick. It was an addiction issue. I tried very hard to conquer it and was just not able to. 

I feel like I am carrying the damaged me around with me too - a whole other person in body weight. It was the way I had carried the troubles. But I realised it was OK to ask for help, and I got my stomach cut out. Addiction lives in the survival centres of your brain. You make decisions in the executive centres, but your survival centres say override with their own decisions. I lost and gained 200 kg over time. As the Bible says, if your eye is causing you to sin, just pluck it out, if your arm is causing you to sin cut it off. I dont want to be just someone who gets through it. I want to be someone who lives my life.