I AM A JUDGEMENTAL REDHEAD

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of THE WOKINGHAM ARC PROJECT.

I am a judgemental redhead. Too flighty, too fiery, too temperamental. Wokingham people always seem calm and confident. Sometimes I wonder where “my people” are, and how I can find them.

What makes me feel alive in my local area is the bustling market, with independent traders. The pubs! But then the countryside just a stroll away.

Home is a place where your quirks are celebrated. Wokingham is friendly – with a group or society for every interest or hobby you could possibly have. Working people love to come together – pubs, restaurants, clubs…

I don’t want Wokingham to grow any bigger. As a teenager I rebelled against Wokingham because I felt it was small and too interested in my life.When I became a mother, I moved my children and I back here – all the “faults” had become benefits.

I AM A SEEKER, A SEEKER OF COLOUR, OF PATTERN OF DECAY

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of THE WOKINGHAM ARC PROJECT.

I am a seeker, a seeker of colour, of pattern of decay. I am a listener, for birdsong, engines and people going about their day. I breathe in the smells, the plants flowers, freshly baked goods and the traffic open to the movement that life brings. 

What makes me feel alive in my local area is the connection with others, the community. The sense of belonging.

Home, to me, means a peaceful place, warm and cosy, where are you rest and recoup from the every day.

 I hope that Wokingham will be known as a creative town with an engaging art community.

I have lived in Wokingham all my life. (Introverted and neuro divergent) but I’m learning to step out and become involved in the local community – using my voice.

LET THE WILDNESS OF NATURE NOT BE TOO TAMED

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of THE WOKINGHAM ARC PROJECT.

I am a serial hobby-crafter, cat lady, avid reader, chocoholic, counsellor, computer geek, gamer, friend, creative, tomboy, teacher’s pet, feminist, and rebel (just a little).

Nature makes me feel alive in my local area – how close the “countryside “is to town that you can walk for 5 – 10 minutes from the town centre and be completely surrounded by open fields and beautiful Woodlands.

To me, home means comfort, peace, cats and books, the place to completely relax and just be. The place you feel the everyday stresses get put away to be picked up again only when you leave.

I wish for preservation of our natural world, finding a way to live en-masse without draining or natural resources or destroying our environment any further. Let the wildness of nature not be too tamed by tidy and sanitised green spaces amid all the new developments.

I felt alone throughout the pain of infertility

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I felt alone throughout the pain of infertility. Being the only one not to conceive, not to fall pregnant, not to give birth or raise a child among my family, friends and work colleagues was incredibly lonely. Not only did I feel excluded from all the joy others were experiencing, but I also felt excluded because my grief wouldn't allow me to share or be part of their joy. To my great sadness, I even found it difficult to be on my own - the pain was so profound. My life was off-track for the best part of 10 years and I couldn't imagine a future without my own children. But through hill-walking, counselling and a loving husband, but I have found inner peace, and with it a new appreciation of life itself.

Nobody is wondering where I am

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

Dec 31st 2017

11:58pm

Sitting on swings in empty playground, its -5 degrees, everything is white and nobody is wondering where I am. There are fireworks. The housing estates nearby are jubilant. Why does this always happen.

They nod and smile but there is no real comprehension

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I have experienced loneliness. I have felt isolated in the past. Not due to any fault of mine or others, nor due to an unwillingness to communicate, but simply a miscommunication or misunderstanding A feeling of not being understood. A hopelessness. That feeling as if speaking a foreign language or screaming and no one really understands what you are saying. They nod and smile but there is no real comprehension of what you are saying. That feeling can be terrifying and enormously frustrating. It leads to a conclusion of 'why bother' and eventually defeat. Thankfully I have come to terms with this feeling and have learned that through being as honest with your own mind as you possibly can be, others will follow suit and begin to understand.

I will be gloriously ugly and unapologetically queer

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I've always known that I am ugly, and that has brought with it loneliness all through my life. This ugliness has been confirmed again and again by the society I was raised in, through years and years of bullying, harassment, staring and laughing.

Then came the realisation that I am ugly and queer, and double the abuse - from the established heterosexual norms, and also my queer peers. Children have always whispered and laughed at my appearance. Cars driving by at night throw glass bottles and food out their windows at me. It's predictably resulted in a lot of anxiety, depression, and isolation.

Regardless, I made it my mission to thrive and to live. I found my tribe, I found love, passion, reasons to keep going. But over the years they have all disappeared. My tribe have all moved away, my love turned to heartbreak, passions seem pointless now and my reasons to keep going have literally died. All this, compounded with the daily reminder of my inherent ugliness, has me at a unique point that I've never been in. Not suicidal, never suicidal, but something I can't quite put to words. Tired to my bones and lost in a fog. I don't know what to do, how to go on, how long I can manage, but I have faith in myself to keep trying.

Even just to see the sunrise every night. I've made it this far with this much against me, who knows what could be next. I'll face it. I'll face it all, and I will be gloriously ugly and unapologetically queer while facing it. My grotesque existence is an act of beautiful defiance.

My feelings were hurt by being treated like an outsider

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

Sometimes I find it difficult to make real connections to people. I have lived in a rural area where my son attended a local school. But because of his autism it was difficult to meet people who understood. My feelings were hurt by being treated like an outsider. This was a time in life that I felt very lonely. Thankfully things have changed and I am more positive about things working out for my son. Family Carers Ireland and choir mean that I am less isolated and alone now. But I do have concerns about living in the countryside when I get older as there is poor infrastructure/supports etc.