My identity which is made up and borrowed and assembled like a jigsaw puzzle

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project by Nicola Anthony

i'm rootless. i carry a passport that has no relationship to my identity, my identity which is made up and borrowed and assembled like a jigsaw puzzles were the pieces just don't fit together. i can't claim a nation, a culture, a language, dna that is 'my people'. i have an irish name but i am not irish - i came here with my husband and i love him and i would go anywhere with him - but my heart beats for a home that i don't have. i want to belong somewhere and i just don't and i don't know how to start. is it something you can even start or something you just born with and know? does it come from the earth of where you were born, the religion of the rituals you perform, the ID you flash at immigration officials, the pubs you drink in?

I actually like my accent being different. It is who I am.

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project by Nicola Anthony

I look like I belong here, I think. But I speak, and all of a sudden I am other. My accent is wrong. I have to explain who I am, why I'm here, how often I go "home", what I think of Ireland, what it's like where I'm from, etc. etc. For 18 years now, and counting. Young ones say I'm not Irish even though I've lived here longer than they have. Amazing what the exact way you say words has an effect on how those words are heard. People read back stories, mostly untrue, into what they hear because it is said in an accent that isn't theirs. I don't hear the Irish accents because I'm surrounded by them, work with people with them, have family with them... so I forget I have a different one. But people remind me. Even on holidays to other parts of the world, people point out that my husband and I say things differently. Our accents aren't the same. And the explanations begin again. It's a pain, all the explaining, but you know, I actually like my accent being different. It is who I am. It is my history. It is my parents accent. It is my sister's accent. It's is my school friends' accents. It is an accent that ceases to exist when I go "home" and don't have to explain anymore.

The hardest part about immigrating to a new country is trying to find your place

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project by Nicola Anthony

I immigrated to the UK 20 years ago, it was supposed to be a 2-year stint. however, I found love and I married my love had children. My reasons for moving over to the UK initially was to establish myself as a professional and to get experience to take back home. Once my wife and I married my priorities changed very quickly to ones where we were interested in building a family to build a support structure here in the UK as well as building a life for us that extended beyond that of ours.

The hardest part about immigrating to a new country is trying to find your place, What I mean by that is as a kid I grew up very differently in South Africa and Botswana. We experienced a lot of freedoms that we don't necessary have here in the UK. I grew up in an environment where we were completely safe and we were free to roam the countryside to any point we wanted to, we also grew up in the towns that were very small with very little ambition; the only thing we really knew was what the town was known for.

Moving to the UK broadened my horizons immensely, all of the sudden I started to understand what is possible, what are those things that people are neglecting that I so craved, the things that people didn't necessarily find value in I found very valuable and strangely my life became very full . I have no regrets for immigrating to a different country, yes, I wish I could do the same back home however I've grown so much as a person and so much as an international expatriate that I find it very hard to go back home and resume my life there.

I guess one of my only regrets from being based in the UK is that I'd like to have my children travel as much as I did when I was young, however that won't be possible and the reason for that is that I want them to have a really stable upbringing making lifelong friends, unfortunately while I was growing up because we moved a lot as my parents were expats, this meant that we never created lifelong relationships with any of the friends that we knew in all of those regions . This is quite a lonely existence where you become so self-reliant and so self-observational in becoming a person that becomes likeable very quickly without people really knowing the real you.

It marked me forever, being different

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I crossed borders literally and metaphorically. Before EU my biggest fear was immigration police. I have encountered them and I had luck not to get into trouble on multiple occasions. But it haunted me in everything I did, it marked me forever, being different, not being allowed to do things as non national, as an alien. I made the journey to change my life and I did, but fear always followed. Being told' this is my country' by a native, being told I cannot do certain things because of an accent marked my psyche.

I was getting used to the sound of explosions

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I left my country because I was afraid I was becoming insensitive to violence. One day, I went to my regular bus stop, and a corpse was lying on the floor. It was very early, there were not many people out on the street. I just waited for my bus.

Then it hit me...something was wrong, and I got scared I was getting used to the sound of explosions and the news of massacres. To me, dying from natural causes meant being killed. I needed to remove myself from my beloved country because I still wanted to feel.

I didn't fit in with the culture of my parents or that of those around me

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

Growing up to Indian muslim parents in the UK always meant that I didn't fit in with the culture of my parents or that of those around me in the UK. It's always been difficult to fit in with others and I've always felt that it's an ongoing struggle, though am now comfortable to know I'll never fit in and to be content with that.

I ride an emotional roller coaster

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I lived in the same house for 49 years and got married for the first time at 52 . Finding love like this was Grace alone .. to make it work required sacrifice.. much deliberation mixed with trust and faith allowed me to make a big move to the UK.

I ride an emotional roller coaster - harking back to how things were and how some things aren’t the same .. then I get that they can’t be the same even if I had stayed on .. everything is dynamic , and I am grateful for the many opportunities that have come. From my early teens my life was punctuated by farewells, as friends and family emigrated to various places in the world to leave the political unrest and later crime in our birthplace . Our community was diminished and I wept for the loss of potential and indeed the loss of the dreams and vision that we had of how we would be in our lives together.

Thanks to the technology that we have , I enjoy the connection from afar that my grandparents never had when 2 generations before they fled persecution.. when they left , they left everything behind.

I escaped from Poland during the Holocaust

NOTE: This story is the testimony of a Holocaust survivor named Jona Goldrich, courtesy of USC Shoah Foundation, to whom he gave a video recording of this testimony in 1995. These words were made into a public sculpture by Nicola Anthony in 2018. See it here.

My name is Jona Goldrich, I was born in Poland in Galicia, in a small town called Turka, September 1927. The population was half Jewish. My father Alexander was considered a wise man, he taught us to be independent. I learned a lot from him.  He told me the only thing they can’t take away from you is what is inside your head. My Mother Elza was very observant and worried about her children; we were three brothers. She headed The Women’s Charity. We always had an open house for poor people. My 17 year old brother didn’t survive; his name was Isaac.


There was always antisemitism in school; calling us names, even throwing rocks at us. Jews were considered second class citizens. In June 1941 the Nazis marched in and made us put on white arm bands with the Star of David; we were not allowed to go out at night. They took the old people out into the forest and dug a big grave and shot them all: 300 people. My rabbi and his wife were shot. Our family hid in the attic for two weeks, with barely room to lie down. My father decided it was time to do something else.


I left my home in July 1942, just me and my younger brother Avram; I was 14. There was no hope in our city, there was no chance of surviving there. My father decided that we shouldn’t go as a whole family, it was safer for kids, and the family wouldn’t get caught at one time. He hired a guide, Michael, who took us through the mountains at night. We walked four days through the forest. I felt a little bit scared that I would never see my parents again. The guide took us to Munkatch, Hungary. My Father sewed some diamonds into our clothes so we would have money. It felt very bad to be so dependent on other people. Anyone that got caught hiding Polish Jews got arrested. It’s hard to tell a 12 year old how dangerous it is. It was tough on me, the responsibility that something might happen to my brother. That was my biggest fear. There isn’t a day in my life that I don’t think about what happened.


I went to the Palestine office every day, they were going to let 50 children in. It was the only safe place from Europe to go. We left for Palestine in December 1942. We had just enough to carry on our backs. The trip lasted almost a month by train. The train went from Hungary to Romania to Bulgaria to Turkey, then Syria to Lebanon to Haifa (Israel). When we crossed the border everybody kissed the ground. We didn’t know what happened to our parents until the war ended; we hoped they survived somewhere.  They made it to Hungary but they got caught by the police. I felt guilty that if I had stayed with my family, maybe they would have survived too. If you don’t have a childhood, then you don’t know exactly what you’ve been robbed of.



I couldn’t quite believe or recognize that such raw, overwhelming and non-negative emotions existed in this world

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I met him in New York and it changed everything in my life. I honestly thought I was happy before - I was dating a guy I liked for three months, I had just started a new job which was getting good, I was on my first work trip, I had wonderful friends around me, I looked good and felt good, I felt my life was opening up for me in ways it hadn’t before. But when I met him and we interacted with each other, the level of love and happiness I felt knocked me over. It wasn’t immediate because I couldn’t quite believe or recognize that such raw, overwhelming and non-negative emotions existed in this world. In the days and months that followed even when I felt the saddest that we were apart, it was always accompanied by this huge benevolent gush of love and life force that flowed through and around me. It was never the sadness of the past which was empty and void. He is everything in a way that makes me feel whole and alive even without him. I have never felt this way before. He knows I like him but I don’t think he knows how deep these emotions flow and I hope someday he will know this.

There were many times where the thought of “Will I ever have a boyfriend, a husband in my life?” came to mind.

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

Coming from a family with strict & traditional upbringing, it had been a bumpy journey growing up. With parents setting the ground rule of “no-boyfriend-till-you-graduate”, it became awkward for me to approach such topic. There were many times where the thought of “Will I ever have a boyfriend, a husband in my life?” came to mind. After 27 years, I found the companion that I had been searching for, I never thought I would ever find that special someone to spend the rest of my life with.

That we are each a you-niverse of infinite possibilities.

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I am happy because I finally realised I am the love I have always wanted and deserve. That we are each a you-niverse of infinite possibilities. That I am and we are slowly unlearning our way into unconditional love. That the first step is self-care. That loving yourself is one step closer to loving nature and others in an authentic, sustainable, centered way. I am grateful.

A print of myself into your memory

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

When I am down. I fall deeply down. I mope in my thoughts. Sometimes I confide in someone. Sometimes I keep it to myself. Last time I used to vomit out the words into my diary. The thing is, I seem often happy. Really, compare me to any other more unfortunate people around the world lacking in food, water and shelter, I am considered well-off enough. I do not need to worry about the next day and how I can survive. But yet, sometimes I feel down. I've seen more than one friendship that I've had fading away in front of me. And sometimes (maybe because I don't necessary ask for it) , I wonder if I mean anything to anyone. If I am gone one day, will I be missed? Will they just mourn for me until a month or a week is over and put it aside in their mind? Why am I here again? Is there a reason I was born? What if I am actually unneeded? Then what is the point? Is my life meaningless? Those questions are the reason why I try so hard to leave something behind to show that I existed. A print of myself into your memory. A good deed done for a random stranger. Reaching out first to help people. But then again, the things you do for others, they might not always remember. They move on with their lives. And that is just how it is. But what can I do? For now, I don't really know. Because the future is uncertain, although I wish there was some way to know.

I wasn’t planning on it, but we fell in love

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I had just gotten out of a very serious relationship because I wanted to travel and he could not understand that. I was traveling and felt like I had figured things out - I was going to explore and after, move to my home city, start working there and “settle down”. Then I met this guy and everything changed. I wasn’t planning on it, but we fell in love. We did long distance for a bit, I moved to be with him in London, and then we moved to start a life together in Singapore. While this was not how I saw my life going - I’m happy that I was open to the new path and I’m so happy I went on this unexpected journey with my now fiancé, future Husband.

The vast and unexpected mountain that is life

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

It was my 30th birthday, and while I have had some or happiest times in Singapore, it is occasions like this where the absence of friends and family from your home country is felt most deeply. It’s as if I could feel each and every step of the 10,800 km that separates you from the home in which you grew up in. As I sat up on my bed, and walked across to my kitchen, my girlfriend was instructing me to go back into the bedroom. I had no idea what was in store for me. She soon called me back into the living room, and said: “I have a very special day planned for you my dear, all I ask is that you keep an eye on your phone.”

She did not disappoint. Over the course of the day, I received 60 different video messages from friends and family across the world. I was overwhelmed with happiness. It’s as if at that point technology had help us overcome those 10,800km, and I was sitting at home in my family living room opening cards and sharing laughs all together. It turns out my girlfriend had spent the preceding weeks contacting each and everyone of the people closest to me, and asked them to send across a message. While it was the videos that brought about that moment of unexpected happiness, I cannot underplay the thoughtfulness of my partner in bringing about this moment. Her actions bring me moments of unexpected happiness each and every day, and I feel so grateful to have this person by my side, scaling the vast and unexpected mountain that is life.

I felt unimaginable joy as I descended the hill

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

I climbed 2700 ft up a hill in Yorkshire. Ingleborough one of the highest peaks in The Dales. At the top I saw a huge steel cage. Locked in were Ravens and Blackbirds. Scattered on the floor were dead new born lambs for the birds to eat but no water. I went up to the cage and saw the sad eyes of the birds. I felt great sorrow. In an instant without thinking I went around the cage and saw a panel that could be moved. Suddenly my small body filled with strength as I pulled at the panel of steel bars. With all my might I strained and shifted the panel just a few inches. The birds flew to the gap and escaped flying upwards. I shouted ''be free my friends'',  as they circled above me. I felt unimaginable joy as I descended the hill. A small Robin Redbreast followed behind me for a long while. Sweetly singing as if to thank me. I discovered later that farmers trap Ravens to protect newborn lambs and also feed them dead lambs that didn’t survive birth. I still feel the joy I felt when I see Ravens.

Happiness is not a continuous state. It comes in small bursts.

This is an anonymous story collected from the public as part of the Human Archive Project

A few weeks ago, something I feared and dreaded happened. I thought it would be scary. It had made me redundant from my job. I thought that I would be very upset. But when it happened it was like putting down a huge back pack of rocks. I felt light and free. I hadn't realised the burden I carried. Since then I have been so happy. Happiness is not a continuous state. It comes in small bursts. You have to stop and appreciate the moments. I have had many of these moments over the last few weeks. Probably more than the whole of last year. It's been incredible.