I am male, I am a brother, I am happy, I am confused, I am searching for something, I have Faith, I am a dreamer, I am stressed, I have lied.
I Have high IQ but low EQ. I think I may be happier the other way round.
For 2 years I had the deepest infatuation for her, poured my heart and soul into her, but she didn't like me at all. After 2 years, she told me she told me the opposite. But by then, I left her and I was gone. Ironically, both of us were shattered. But, I still miss her.
I like adventures, I like climbing buildings. It makes me feel free and happy.
I cheated, I destroyed her life, I let people who once loved me dearly down. And right now, ironically, I am asking my friend not to cheat on her fiance. Totally laughable. #iamsorry
I have darkness; a deep malcontent which is always searching and yearning for satiation. I am the darkness, and it is me. But, by nature, it is unseen, which means I go unseen. I feel unheard, misunderstood, unfairly judged by the world and those in it. I feel a desire for objects to hold inside me. I feel like they will keep me safe, or at the least, distracted. But they do not, because they are part of the darkness, and so the more I focus on my acquisition and achievement the most I melt away from the light and become further from my ultimate goal - to be truly seen and understood by someone.
This cycle of madness is unending, and all-encompassing. Every so often it will bring me to my knees, where I will ask God for forgiveness and guidance. I do not know if He responds, but I always end up in the same place so I think not. Or perhaps I just stop listening. I feel empty and worthless. A sense of profound insignificance plagues my waking thoughts and destroys my drive. What's the point? I ask. No reply comes. At the same time, when my ideas are challenged I feel a pain somewhere deep inside, as if someone has not only challenged my thoughts but my person; my existence.
Though I try not to show it to the people I love most, there is a large part of me which believes I am supreme. I think in a way like no other. I come to conclusions that only the best might arrive at. And every thought spoken is backed by a sea of thoughts never uttered. So you see I exist in a constant state of flux. I am magnificent. And at the same time, worthless. And all the time I am yearning for something that I can never know, for as soon as I know my desire, it moves on to something else. So what is it like to be me? Like shifting sands in the nighttime.
I am selfish. Though, I like to tell others I'm not. I have destroyed the lives of those who loved me in the past. I have cheated in every relationship I have been in. I have cheated with others who are in a relationship and destroyed theirs. I am impatient, self important and I can get evil. But I also want to help people. I want to help those who are troubled in this society. I want to create a level ground for everyone from every background. PS: I've always wanted to be Prime Minister.
I am me. Coasting along at a constant. A barometer of normality to the outside world. Uninspiring, uneventful and under valued. I am me.
Being an artist and an author can be fun.
I am a bit of everything, in more ways than one. The molecules that make up my body are part of the universe. I am curious about dying, but not ready to go yet.