I think I may be happier the other way round

I Have high IQ but low EQ. I think I may be happier the other way round.

Feeling responsible all the time

Feeling responsible all the time. Loving being alone. Hiding from the world because highly intelligente.

Lazy lazy lasy

Being me is fun and nice and scary and a blessing

Being me is fun and nice and scary and a blessing. The scary part is that I live a very "normal" life...married for 18 years, to a man my parents agree of, two wonderful teenage boys , with whom we have a great relationship, and we have a very harmonious family life. See? Pretty scary, pretty unreal. But real. The fun part is that in my family we have always enjoyed humor, so even in difficult situations, we tend to make jokes. And my husband has a wonderful sense of humor. Probably what I fell in love with. Nice? We are good people. We seriously, do not fight, and therefore we run away from conflict. I do not know if this will be a weakness from my boys. Let’s  wait and see. And yes.. a TRUE blessing to be me. I have had it all and luck is on our side. THANK YOU GOD. THANK YOU THANK YOU LIFE.

I am mesmerized by the beauty and the afflictions

When I experience the energies of the universe, in its subtlest and truest forms, it connects me to my higher awareness. As an artist and a spiritual seeker, I am mesmerized by the beauty and the afflictions the senses and the feelings that are created like a ripple in the water. I call it my Inner Dimensions.

It is possible to find joy even in the midst of the most difficult of circumstances

I have learnt, in the last two and a half years, that it is possible to find joy even in the midst of the most difficult of circumstances - when everything you took for granted in your life and that you imagined was the basis of your happiness, is upended, threatened, even destroyed. What do you do when you can no longer live the perfect life that you thought you had? I have learnt that if you accept, and even embrace, change and let go of control (which is an illusion anyway!) that can become a source of tremendous freedom and that freedom, and the discovery that you can be happy and joyful when almost everything you knew has crashed and burned, makes me brave and unafraid of what lies ahead. While I would never have wished for what happened to happen (it crushed me and broke my heart), I understand that it is precisely because it happened that I am braver, stronger and yes, more joyful than I was before.

I'm afraid that I have given up too much of myself for my family

The deepest emotion I feel is gratitude. I am not perfect, my life is not perfect, I am an optimist and a do-er... but I sometimes look around me and wonder, how did I end up here?

Life is ironic, and magical. And I am grateful for it: for my family, my life experiences, my friends and the random people that come my way. Yet somehow, deep down inside I am afraid. I'm afraid that I have given up too much of myself for my family - my husband and my kids. 3 great kids and they each need 100% of the best of me everyday, which I can't give them because I am just me - enthusiastic, energetic, irritable, tired, witty, creative, demanding, angry, happy, sad. I am afraid that one day I will end up just like my mother. And I love her and I am so grateful for her love and sacrifices - but I see her limping and tired now, uninterested for herself. When I finally put the kids to bed, and slouch exhausted on the couch, I feel my bones transform into hers. I try to will myself to get up and go for a run. Nope. Never happens.

And just when I think I'm almost managing all these balls juggling in the air, just when I think I have managed to carve out a little space for me again.... congratulations, you're going to have another baby! What?!! 4 kids? Yes, I wished for that as a child, when I couldn't possibly have understood what child-rearing was about. But now, really?? Yet, I smile .... it's irrational, I know. And I am grateful. I know it'll be another great ride.

 

But word to the wise - be careful what you wish for. Always.

I am afraid that one day I will end up just like my mother.

The deepest emotion I feel is gratitude. I am not perfect, my life is not perfect, I am an optimist and a do-er... but I sometimes look around me and wonder, how did I end up here?

Life is ironic, and magical. And I am grateful for it: for my family, my life experiences, my friends and the random people that come my way. Yet somehow, deep down inside I am afraid. I'm afraid that I have given up too much of myself for my family - my husband and my kids. 3 great kids and they each need 100% of the best of me everyday, which I can't give them because I am just me - enthusiastic, energetic, irritable, tired, witty, creative, demanding, angry, happy, sad.

I am afraid that one day I will end up just like my mother. And I love her and I am so grateful for her love and sacrifices - but I see her limping and tired now, uninterested for herself. When I finally put the kids to bed, and slouch exhausted on the couch, I feel my bones transform into hers. I try to will myself to get up and go for a run. Nope. Never happens.

And just when I think I'm almost managing all these balls juggling in the air, just when I think I have managed to carve out a little space for me again.... congratulations, you're going to have another baby! What?!! 4 kids? Yes, I wished for that as a child, when I couldn't possibly have understood what child-rearing was about. But now, really??

Yet, I smile .... it's irrational, I know. And I am grateful. I know it'll be another great ride. But word to the wise - be careful what you wish for. Always.

I can see many life looks same but different standard

I'm still finding myself. I'm in the middle of journey of life. For my life, there is some kind of rule which I have to follow. I try to break that rule and release from that kind of burden but it's not easy. Especially I realized that I push my daughter in the same ways. I try to find which a way makes me happy and satisfies my life. For me, satisfying my life is an important thing. I believe that all the happiness and feeling safe is from satisfaction. When I move to singapore, I could meet many variety of persons, then I realised it. What is important for my life. Because I can see many life looks the same , but is a different standard.

I get told how lucky I am

To others my life looks amazing, that I have it all. A healthy family, a hardworking husband, a home, nice things, financial freedom. I get told how lucky I am and I am lucky in many ways. The truth is that I am ungrateful. I expect more, I'm never satisfied. I am lazy. I stopped trying and started expecting everything to happen without putting in my part. I have driven my husband away and now he may want to divorce me.

I've finally realised the faults and issues about myself, I've realised why I've been that way, how I've allowed issues from my past to haunt me and cause me to destroy my own happiness. But have I realised this too late? And I've learned he has secrets too. Secrets that I may never know the full truth of. Secrets that rip my heart apart.

Despite my issues and his issues, I now know that there's nothing more in the world I want than to work it all out and find our happy place again, but it might be too late.

I pretend to be a nice person, good mother, and good wife.

I care about what others think about me too much. I pretend to be a nice person, good mother, and good wife. Thats me, and I'm happy:) Do i pretend to be happy? maybe yes, but maybe no.

I am a mid life mother searching for what's next for my life

I am a mid life mother searching for what's next for my life? Expat life has made my skin thick..Sometimes lonely, kids abroad, husband and I grown closer ..new friends, new life, missing our hometown (30 hr commute).. Sniff

I took a bold step to change my life

I took a bold step to change my life and be with the person I felt was meant to be. Now I couldn't be happier with him and our children.

My life is a voyage across the oceans

My life is a voyage across the oceans, quite literally and on the way I am learning a lot about the people I meet, the people I call family and friends and the person I am.

My life changing moment was facing the possibility of drowning at sea when our boat lost its rudder in the Atlantic, I survived and am confident now that I can surmount anything else that's thrown at me.

I fail so often that I find it hard to believe in myself

My children are my greatest joy. By seeing them grow and experience things i never could, fills me with happiness. Without them I would die.

I feel sad that I have not always protected them from some of the difficulties I have to face and guilty that I have inflicted some of my unhappiness on them.

I have not always been a good mother but I hope I can make up for that.

My personal achievements are few but I want to be a good person who helps others.

I fail so often that I find it hard to believe in myself.

I am the most manipulative person I know

I am the most manipulative person I know.

 But I use my powers for good. Most times.

I used to be a nobody

I used to be a nobody; working 9-6 on a regular job in a MNC company. Trying to save up the miserable pay to go on a holiday once a year. Life is just between home and office.

Now I am an entrepreneur; a gallerist set on a mission to help the low income and underprivileged artists, to help those in need of a platform to showcase their art.... and hopefully sell their works and make a living. It is no longer about MONEY, but the social cause and how you give back to the society. This makes me HAPPY.

A friend once said: you can earn loads of MONEY in this life... but at the edge of your life lying on the sick bed, is it MONEY you are still thinking of?? Or the moments you wished you had done in your life? Have you lead a HAPPY life?

Uninspiring, uneventful and under valued

I am me. Coasting along at a constant. A barometer of normality to the outside world. Uninspiring, uneventful and under valued. I am me.

Being an artist

Being an artist and an author can be fun.