I believe effort never lies

I am from China,currently studying in SG.I am 19 years old now and I celebrated 3 birthday here.(which means that I live in sg about 3 years already)

I realize that time flies and I always feel a bit sad because I do not really like Singapore since it is not what I think it is before I come here,the accent, the environment (a small city). However,I don't hate this city cuz it is very safe and clean. I have signed a contract with poly which requires me to work in sg for 3 years after graduation,this really make me unhappy since I want to spend that 3 years in other countries,I want to explore more. I have friends here ,closed friends,but I don't know why I feel lonely quite often,my first sem 's GPA is quite low so I am stressed now ... but I believe effort never lies, gonna try my best in this sem.

Feeling responsible all the time

Feeling responsible all the time. Loving being alone. Hiding from the world because highly intelligente.

Lazy lazy lasy

I hate being a doormat

I like to please everyone and wants everyone to like me, but i dont like it. I hate being a doormat because i cant say no. And when i do share my feeling about how i feel to a particular person, i am deemed as rude. Sometimes i feel left out when it comes to friends. To be honest i rather live in solitude then live with my family because i want peace. Sometimes i wake up to my mum and grandma arguing. Sometimes my mum and dad. Sometimes i wake up and she argues with me. I just want a friend that doesnt take me for granted and just be there and if i cant get that. I rather be alone and live alone. Painting and drawing. I am happy though, because even though negativity outweighs my life more, doesnt mean i have to be negative. I am positive and i know one day ill be happy in an apartment i will buy and be a painter or an artist and just be content with life.

I am an unstable isotope

Hello.

1. I beat cancer thrice.       2. I cheat death every day.

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"I am an unstable isotope—an anomaly; a rogue; a deviation from the conventional elements. I want to glow with radioactive effervescence for as long as my decaying life can last, and go out with a bang in a nuclear explosion."

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3. Most days I feel suffocated.       4. Anger feels like acid coursing through my veins.

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"The scariest moment in my life was when I was fully awake but I could not breath, I could not talk, and I could not move. My lungs felt like they had turned to stone and the intense panic from asphyxiation with my eyes wide open made me realise how insufferable it would be to be awake yet dying."

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5. I dream of love and life

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"June 6: I find myself missing you already. Because you were there when I was most vulnerable and you let me hold your hand until I fell asleep."

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I fell in love with resurrecting myself

I fell in love with resurrecting myself, replacing bits and pieces of my mind that needed something newand my life became the most colourful thing

There is someone whom I regret making the decision to leave

There is someone whom I regret making the decision to leave, he will always be part of me and I will learn to let go, someday. Or I might never be able to do that.

I am learning more about who exactly I aspire to become

As an eighteen year old about to leave the nest and go to university, I am learning more about who exactly I aspire to become and what I want to contribute to the world in my lifetime. I aspire to help people who didn't get the privilege of growing up as comfortably as I did.. I aspire to bring a little bit of good to the world - no matter how large or how small. I aspire to become somebody who is not bothered by material wealth but rather seeks to learn about the world, different languages, cultures, religions and customs. I aspire to travel and make friends with people that add something meaningful to my life. It's a lot of dreams to have, but the only way i can ever get close to being remotely like that is by aspiring!

Blessed

Being quite a complex character and having suffered mental illness in the past I am very sensitive and aware of other people's feelings. I'm blessed with a wonderfully supportive family to whom I'm very grateful.

I understood myself better

You know me, Nicola. You know me because I discovered that I love art. Not all art. Art at school was traditional - I am twice your age. 20th century art started to fire my imagination. It was familiar subjects seen with imagination - impressionist....then post impressionist. I started to collect pop-art which symbolised the icons of my life, and then I discovered your work: your use of words in art fascinated me. It resonated with me; it spoke back to me; I felt that it understood my feelings and echoed them, questioned them. I interacted with your art, I questioned myself, and understood myself better. I am now a better, happier, more contented and compassionate person.

Thank you! Thank you very much!

Being a girl

Since I was a child, I have been living in a big family tension of being a girl. My parents would have different lives if I was born as a boy. I chose to run away from that shadow when I was 19 and lived outside of that traditional box. Art has taken me back to the root. I hope to wake more people up through my work to have less girls being hurt in China.